4 Ways Couples Can Make Difficult Talks Easier After Spinal Cord Injury

Good communication with your partner is vital to your relationship – and to your sex life. Talking about sensitive subjects after spinal cord injury is hard. Here are a few ways to make it easier.

Talk to your partner about sex after spinal cord injury. Get tips.

Conversations about sensitive topics can be difficult, even with someone you love. That’s especially true when talking about sex after spinal cord injury. Sometimes the way we talk to each other can have a big impact. Here are a few tips for successful conversations with your spouse or partner.

1. Speak in the I-form. Don’t say, “You don’t think I’m attractive anymore.” Instead, state your point of view: “I’m worried that you don’t find me attractive anymore.” This simple practice will help you state your concerns to your partner without sounding like you’re accusing them.
2. Don’t let negative emotions get the best of you. In the heat of a conversation it may be hard not to say something that sounds harsh or mean. Stop and take a deep breath. Reframe your thought in the I-form and speak calmly. If you don’t, your partner may get defensive.
3. Make suggestions, not demands. “I’d like to try a new position that I have read about. Would that be okay for you?” That soft approach can keep your partner open to new ideas and feel closer to you too.
4. Be a good listener. One of the basics of a good conversation is the ability to truly listen. Focus on allowing your partner the opportunity to express themselves without interruption. Make an effort to try and understand your partner’s needs as you listen.

If you continually struggle to talk about sensitive issues, like sex, don’t hesitate to get help. Turn to a professional couples therapist or relationship counsellor to help you through the rough patches.